Sad Philippines Cancer story….

Sister Kirchhoefer sent us this letter from the Philippines a couple of weeks ago.  As hard as we have it with this new trial, we are still so blessed!  Kayli is doing well and we are proud of her selfless service and the growth she is experiencing.



Its not uncommon for people here to come up to missionaries, especially the americans, and beg for money. we are instructed to not give money-it makes sense right? if people here found out we give money then we would be swarmed on the streets and people would only listen to our message in hopes that we would give them money. As much as it breaks my heart, we just say "patawad" (forgive) and keep moving. Earlier this mom came up to me with her shy kid at her heels. she takes off her hat so i can see her balding head. i can see the skin right above her shirt-rough, bumpy scars. She puts out her hand and asks me for money to help her pay for chemotherapy for breast cancer. talk about pulling on the heart strings-i was honestly stunned. no words came to my mouth. i looked at her and uttered a soft and pathetic "patawad" as she walked away quickly before i could bring myself together, she looked so disappointed. I cant imagine what she is feeling right now. I personally feel sick inside for my pathetic answer and that i didn't do anything to help her...

To be honest, there is a part of me that feels so beyond guilty that i am here so far away from whats happening with mom. I am so busy most of the time that i don't have time to worry or think too much about whats happening. i am trying to do my best here but i constantly feel like i am falling short. it hasn't hit me with whats happening because i cant see it-i am not there. i just cant stop thinking about this poor woman who i saw earlier-i cant imagine how hopeless she must feel. I just want you to know that even though i am not close to you. you guys are in my thoughts and prayers always (even if it is in the back of my head). even though the full extent of what is happening has not hit me yet...i am just trying to do my best here, and i love you so much. I am grateful that treatments are available to mom. i am grateful for the support system that we have because of so many amazing friends and family, and i am grateful for the hope that we can still feel from the gospel of Jesus Christ. I have had some of the hardest and trying moments of my life here. but i have also had the spirit speak to my heart and i have experienced my most joyful, happy, and contented moments of my life here. One thing that i have learned about "doing hard things" or trials-is that its hard (obviously), but its worth it. There is a God who knows us better than we know ourselves, and he will direct our lives for our own benefit. He knows what we need. We become strong through the battles and the faith that we gain through them. now i realize that is a lot easier said than done. i am doing it right now and constantly falling short and feel like a child just tripping and learning. But the most important part is that we get up and move forward. i read this quote this week:

"The greatest gift we can give those on both sides of the veil is to move forward with our heads held up in faith and hope in Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ, even if each step is taken with tears streaming down our faces."

The most important part is moving forward! And we don't lose our faith. I love you more than words can express. When i said bye to you all almost one year ago, i never thought things would be this hard. If i knew, then i would not have come haha (joke?) but, Heavenly Father loves us, so he is helping us all grow. 

I received news this morning that i am being transferred. I thought i would be here longer, but i guess not. words cannot express my feelings about this branch, or the people we are teaching, or my current companion. so i wont even try, just know that i will miss it here SO much. I have been here since December. I will let you know what happens next week! Have a good week :)

Kayli

p.s. We reached 39C this week.i think thats around 102F? We had a service project earlier (i attached a picture) and i got so burned haha. we cleaned a elementary school before classes start next week.

p.s.s. this week we went to one of our recent converts house right when they were starting to cook their dinner. we watched as he chased two ducks, cut their necks, plucked, and then fried/cut, and then we left right before they offered it to us haha. i just have never witnessed the whole process before, kind of interesting. kind of nasty at the same time. I love being a missionary in the philippines :)