All Scheduled Treatments Complete, Finally....

Well, Thursday marked Wendi's last radiation treatment at the Radiotherapie center at the hospital in Homburg.  She was in good spirits and has done remarkably well the past two weeks, and the past nine months, for that matter.  She was diagnosed on 1 April, so that's a long haul!

We were really quite concerned back on 7 December when she had been in bed for the entire weekend and we were looking at two weeks to go.  I wasn't sure if she would be able to go in that Monday, let alone for 10 more sessions.  We're not quite sure what happened that weekend, but it was definitely the low point of radiation.  She slowly got better each day and finished pretty strong yesterday.

We have an appointment with our Landstuhl oncology department in January.  We also have a follow-up at the Homburg hospital.  At some point, she'll get another CT to check things out, but it's recovery time right now.

OK, it might have helped some yesterday that Kayli was able to go with us - yes, you read that right!  We swooped in to Frankfurt on Thursday evening and were there waiting when a tired, smiling, spent, but wonderful Kayli got off the Air China flight from Beijing.  What a fun experience for our family!  She is doing great, btw.  Some have asked if she's been a little 'awkward,' but I think she's very much the Kayli that left, except, if you thought she liked to take a hot shower before she left, watch out, baby!  A sink in the bathroom, a big refrigerator, no bugs, a washer and dryer (!), a hot shower (any shower actually - it beats a bucket...), etc.  We love having her home.  Both her and Kade speak in church tomorrow.

Jenna should get in this weekend.  The staff here at USAFE is 'min-manned,' so we hope the world situation can be somewhat calm for the next couple of weeks and we'll get some good family time.  The boys are off school, Alex has a break from basketball, and we plan on firing up old family videos and catching up on things.

Our good friends here have been wonderful!  Our front door was heart-attacked again and well-wishers have stopped by to help us celebrate.  We are very blessed!  Thanks to all of you again, for your love and support.  It means the world to us.  Looking forward to, and wishing everyone a very Merry Christmas!

1 Week to go

So, today marks Wendi's 20th radiation session.  With five to go, we are getting closer to being done.  She's done incredibly well!  For the first couple of weeks it was pretty straight forward.  We kept hearing how much better/easier it was than chemo.  It's all relative, I guess.  I drove her there a couple of times, then she drove herself most days of the first two weeks.

Then it hit!  Wow, she had a very difficult weekend last week.  She was really tired after Friday, the 4th, and when the weekend hit, she didn't move much off that couch.  She was exhausted, nauseous and achy all over.  When it lasted through Sunday night, we were a little worried.  We wondered if she could even go in for another session that Monday.  Turns out, she was doing a little better Monday morning, so we went in as normal.

We spoke to the doc - who has been very nice and accommodating - and they did a blood test to see if they could uncover anything.  Her numbers were a little off suggesting an infection or sickness of some kind.  She improved through Thursday or so and then plateaued.  She finished the week and is hanging in there.

Our good friends have helped with some of the driving days and have been a good support to her.  She has some great support companions here.  We're going into this weekend much better off than the last.

We are so excited to have Kayli and Jenna joining us this next week!  We hope all of the flights work out great for both of them.  What an exciting week - finish this 9 month ordeal of chemo and radiation, Kayli return from the Philippines, Jenna may show up (if she can get on a flight), a happy birthday to Derek tomorrow, and Christmas!

Not yet for Radiation

Wendi had a nice birthday and we appreciate all the well-wishers and thoughtful people out there.  Our door was wonderfully heart-attacked!  It was a bummer that she was to start radiation on her birthday – kinda puts a damper on the festivities.  

The Bottom Line, though, is we did not start radiation last Thursday, as planned.  We went into Homburg and they only did some kind of measurements.  They explained that they weren’t real happy with ‘the plan’ they had come up with for where to radiate and they wanted more time.  We’re not sure what all that means, except a delay.  Starting on a Friday was not recommended, so we start tomorrow, Monday, November 17^th at 2pm.

We assumed that by now – two weeks post-chemo – Wendi would be feeling like mountain climbing, but she’s still dragging a little bit.  Much better than she felt a week ago for sure, but not as great as we’d hoped.  It really does take time to kick all that junk out.  She will come to all of church today for the first time in quite a while.  It will be great to all be together today!

On a brief family note, we’re proud of Alex for making the JV Basketball team for Ramstein High School.  There is no “C” team or Freshmen team, so it is pretty difficult to do and many try.  He is one of only two Froshies, so way-to-go Alex!

Kayli is mostly registered for spring semester at USU and we are looking forward to having her here for Christmas. 

Happy Veteran's Day and Thanksgiving everyone.

A variety of recent pics of the family---

Mark and Wendi sneak away to Dublin for quick trip

The men on Daddy's 2-yr anniversary in Germany

Heart-attacked on Wendi's Birthday!

Done with Chemo!

On Thursday we went into Landstuhl Hospital for Wendi's last chemo treatment!  Even though she knew it was the last one, she was still dreading it.  We didn't have any parties or anything, but we probably should have.  That was a long road and we are glad it is behind us.

Next up is a visit to the radiation department of the German hospital in Homburg this Tuesday.  So far, Landstuhl has had everything we've needed, but they don't do radiation therapy.  They will do a CT of their own to check everything out, but mostly to decide where exactly to point the radiation weapon.  Her first visit to Homburg for treatment is the 12th.  Then begins a series of 25 visits, Monday through Friday for 5 weeks.  We went there for a pre-visit last week and the facility is great and the people were nice.

I'll be attaching a couple of pics from the oncology folks at Landstuhl.  They treated us very well and we appreciate their excellent care.  They were consistently patient and helpful.  Wendi came through it like a trooper, but swears she will never do it again.  Hopefully, she won't be faced with that kind of terrible choice.  The weekends are usually her worst times after her Thursday chemo's, so we'll see how she is doing today.

We watched some of the European volleyball championships this weekend and Ramstein did OK.  Not quite as fun as last year when Jenna and the team won it all.  That was so much fun.

Working on a Good Tumbling Routine.....

Yesterday we went to the German hospital in Homburg for a pre-visit with Wendi’s Radiation doctor.  All the chemo has been at the Army hospital here, but the one treatment not on base is radiation.  We were impressed with the hospital – much nicer than the one in Kaiserslautern.  Everyone was nice and they all speak “a little” English (which translates to “very good” English).

They want to do another CT before we start, so that’s fine with us.  That is scheduled for 4 November.  Of course, they want ALL the data from our sordid cancer history, so that means all of the CD’s with scans and the text from pathology and such.  Then we would start the treatments on the 12^th of November.  Treatments are 25 sessions total, everyday except for weekends, so 5 weeks long.  That puts her last session on the 17^th of December, the day that Kayli gets home.  Hopefully, we’ll be able to stay on schedule.

I said above that they speak very good English and it is true.  However, there are a few instances of phrases or points lost in translation.  One of the docs was explaining that Wendi could exercise at a level that feels comfortable and didn’t irritate the radiated area.  The activity he suggested was gymnastics.  We’re not sure if he meant something like ‘calisthenics,’ but we have great mental images of Wendi on the parallel bars and nailing that exit off the pommel horse!

We’ll find out for sure, but each session only lasts a total of about a half hour.  Most of the time is spent on set up.  The actual blasting of radiation takes about 7 minutes. 

So today, Wendi has another chemo session and is not looking forward to it.  She’s on the home stretch, but can’t wait for this to be over.  Last one is one week from today!

On the long weekend we snuck over to Normandy and had a great, short visit seeing the D-Day landing sites.  It was a GREAT thing for us to see (boys loved it and will remember that forever) and pay respects to those brave soldiers who sacrificed for us.  This is the 70^th anniversary year.

The boys have had a very good soccer season that unfortunately ends this Saturday.  We had a fun game up at Spangdahlem - our first base 23 years ago - where the soccer field is right next to the flightline, so I’ll include a pic of that too.

Thanks everyone!!

Marküs

Plugging Along

It's been a while, but we're just in the routine of chemo on Thursdays and not much significant has happened, as far as diagnosis/prognosis, etc.

The info we received about chemo - that week-to-week it seems to get progressively more difficult - was correct.  Whereas after week one, Wendi felt OK by the weekend, now it is fairly unpredictable how she will feel.  She has come to Sacrament Meetings on Sunday afternoons until last Sunday.  Each week really has seemed to accumulate the effects of fatigue and just feeling cruddy.  Even yesterday she didn't have that great of a day - the day before chemo.  No nausea, but easy to sit down for a rest and not want to get up AT ALL for anything else.  I'm here at LRMC right now in the waiting room while she is in there for visit 8 of the 12 on this latest drug.

Still, she is a trooper and is doing more things than she should.  I'm still at work, but take her to chemo on Thursdays, usually go back to work, then drive back to the hospital to pick her up, then usually back to work in the afternoon.  I've been walking that thin line of obligations at work trying to work 'full time,' and yet not abusing the time off when they say, 'do what you need to do.'  She is working hard to be the Mom and not feel to 'out of it.'

So, she has 4 more of these chemo visits, then 1 or 2 weeks off, then starts radiation.  We are expecting radiation to be about 5 weeks of every day (M - F) at a German hospital nearby in Homburg.  If you're adding it up, that puts us to mid-December.  With Kayli arriving home from the Philippines on 17 December, that would be a GREAT Christmas present.....

We received sad news from a coworker.  He is in my office, having just arrived in July.  I didn't know this until this week, but his wife was diagnosed with Hodgkins Lymphoma in 2006.  She did some chemo/radiation and it actually came back the next year, not a good sign.  They did much stronger chemo and stem cell transplants and such and she was fine  -  until this week.  The went in for an exam and it looks like it is back.  She will know more next week after a PET scan on Monday.  But if it has returned, she will be out of the 'matrix' (known/scheduled treatments) so will be looking at new/experimental drugs and/or non-traditional treatments.  Pretty sad news for everyone here.

Just FYI, Jenna is loving BYU, as I mentioned Kayli comes home on 17 December, Derek & Jessica are living the young couple's life in Orem with Derek continuing his Neuroscience degree and Jess working to pay the bills, and the boys here are fully into school and soccer.  We've had an absolutely GORGEOUS early fall, so that's been nice.

Again, we've received many blessings from family and friends from here and around the world, so thank you for your love and support.

Marküs

Overwhelmed!!

We had an absolutely unbelievable trip to the States these past few days. 

Our flights to SLC went well last week as we made the trek through Chicago and then on to Utah.  We’re so grateful to our parents in Ogden for hosting us the first night.  Friday was whirlwind of errands for the wedding on Saturday and preparations for dropping off Jenna at BYU.

I would say that the wedding day on Saturday, 23 August was just a beautiful day!  The forecast was for cold and rain, but after some showers in the early morning, it cleared out and made for a nice day to visit the Jordan River Temple and spend time with our beloved family and friends.  The sealing was beautiful, and Derek and Jessica were the picture of a happy couple.   We’re excited to have Jessica join our family.

The old Provo courthouse is a gorgeous, marble-filled building and was classy place to have a luncheon and reception.  We were simply overwhelmed by the family, friends and loved-ones who came to visit with our family.  We know that many of you traveled so very far to be there and went way out of your normal schedules to be a part of the festivities.  We are humbled by your love and support. 

Wendi held up better than any of us expected.  She had an unanticipated high energy level and was able to be a part of everything.  She looked beautiful and was an outstanding mother-of-the-groom.  I thought she might come crashing down the next day, but when it comes to being with family, she was able to draw on some kind of super-reserves and was energetic all through Tuesday.  We were blessed beyond our wildest expectations.

We were also fortunate enough to make it on our flights today and we are on our way ‘home’ to Germany.  We jump right back into the middle of school (the boys will have missed 3 days) and scouts and seminary and work, and chemo.  The summer truly is over, but we went out with a bang!

Thank you so much, again to all of you.  We love you and can’t thank you enough.  Your support sustains us daily.

Marküs

Round 2 Tomorrow and CT Results Great--

Wendi went in today for blood work in preparation for her next chemo session tomorrow.  She is finally done with the "AC" regimen and is phasing into the "T" segment.  It is supposedly the easier drug to handle, so of course, we're hoping that holds true.

She was also able to meet one of the two new Oncology doctors.  We are right in the middle of PCS (moving) season and the Oncology docs are swapping out as well.  She really liked this new guy and is hoping to be linked up with him.  Fingers crossed.

You may know, Wendi had her second CT scan last Friday.  They wanted to scan and see what things looked like after enduring that first chemo cycle and compare it to the scan done in June.  We checked with our radiologist friend in the ward who looked at and gave us the inside scoop.  Everything looked great!  We are glad to hear the good news.  The doctor today confirmed what he had told us earlier, so we are in a good position going into the next phase.

We are sending our kids off tomorrow to sneak back to the United States of America a little early.  Wendi and I will join them next week after that chemo session and Derek gets married on the 23rd.  That's the plan anyway!….

Marküs

First chemo cycle complete!

This past Wednesday was my 4th and final "AC" portion of Chemo.  Let me just say that I am so grateful that I have it behind me.  I am now trying to recover from all of those chemicals and have been tied to the couch more than I would care to admit.  I start a different regimen of chemo on August 13th which is called the "T" portion every week for 12 weeks.  Most of the ladies I meet in the chemo room at the hospital who are ahead of me in this process say they have had an easier time dealing with the effects of the "T"so that is what I am hoping for too.  I go in on August 8th for another CT to see what is going on with those cancerous lymph nodes that are under my collar bone that were too deep to dig for - hopefully they have at least shrunk some by now.  They will also see what is going on with the nodules in my lungs and other concerning spots.  I won't get the report for a few days afterwords, but it does make me a little nervous.  I will post as soon as I know….

If I could only win this cancer battle on LOVE alone, I would have won by now.  From the bottom of my heart I want to thank all of you out there for your kind words, flowers, meals, service, prayers & fasting.  All of the thoughts have sustained me through this really hard time in my life. So many of my prayers have been answered by all of you!  I am also so grateful for the enabling power of the Atonement in my life.  I know that I have received strength beyond my own.  In D& C 100:12 it says, "Therefore, continue your journey and let your hearts rejoice; for behold, and lo, I am with you even unto the end."  I have hope!
 
love, Wendi

Hair

It can be a pain in the tooshie sometimes.  It gets dirty, it gets greasy, it gets misshaped (?) by beds and pillows, and often one just has a bad day with it.  It must occasionally be shampoo'd, combed, brushed, teased, curled, straightened, tinted, highlighted, perm'd, detangled, braided and what have you.  And it must sometimes be cut.

We've heard that sometime after the 2nd chemo session is when most people lose their hair.  For the past week, Wendi has had more of it come out in the shower and throughout the day.  With all that hair, losing some has always been a part of the deal.  But during this weeks visit, the oncologist said that at some point it would start to hurt as the hair began falling out and the scalp would get tender.  She recommended cutting it before it got too far along down that path.

For the past few days, Wendi has felt her head get a bit tender and sore.  We thought all week that maybe July 4th would be the day.  Her hair looked good today, just like usual.  She wasn't losing too much.  But we decided to do it.

Jenna would be the one to use the scissors and I would wield the shaver.  We got all situated in our big bathroom and were about to start.  Jenna grabbed about an inch worth of hair and brought the scissors up to cut.  It was harder than we all thought!  We all just started crying!  It took a minute or two to get our acts together and then she went for it.  She cut it down to about an inch or so in length and then I went over it with a #4.  Next was #1, then no attachment at all.  We didn't dare do the razor thing - we don't want her to get cut with the worries about immune systems and germs and all.  So, we stopped right there.  So, she's down to just a bit of fuzz there.   We are all honestly impressed.  Wendi has a beautiful cranium under there.  It's just perfectly shaped and we could never appreciate it because of all that 80's hair.  It really isn't as drastic as we all thought it would be.  I wouldn't say we are completely used to it, but we're adapting quickly.

Her chemo session on Wednesday went OK.  The sickness afterwards hit sooner this time.  By 2 or 3pm she was starting to drag.  She still managed to go for a walk that day and the next day too.  It is the shot that I giver her the evening of day-2 that seems to really hit hard.  It is some kind of bone medicine that attempts to jump-start the good cell production inside the bones.  It really makes her achy and feeling cruddy.  She was not doing that great today.  Overall, not a good day for Wendi.

We are proud of our country on our Independence Day holiday today.  We would normally have been off on some kind of grand travel adventure this weekend, but are now here at home to celebrate.  We had a good scripture reading and discussion on the 4th of July and the Star Spangled Banner.  Earlier today I took Alex and some scouts to the laundromat to work on his Eagle Project.  We had some donated clothes to launder and it went well.

We are happy to have the blessings we do as Americans and the opportunity to be overseas as well, to experience other cultures.  We cherish the support we get from family and friends as we work through this most current challenge.  Thanks for your concern and kind words.

Mark K.

Should be on a Cruise....

Wendi's gone one full week now as chemo patient.  As reported earlier, she 
survived day-1 and 2 pretty well, overall.  It has been a struggle since then 
with nausea, dizziness, stomach ache, mouth sores, etc.  Not able to sleep well either.  

The nausea hasn't progressed to the point of an actual bathroom visit (similar to her 
pregnancies), but it must be miserable to feel like that all the time.

At times, it seemed like she was about to 'turn the corner' and start to feel 
better, but then she'd slow down again.  She tires more easily, so after doing 
much of anything, she needs to take a break and rest.  Not easy to keep this one 
down, though.  She wants to be contributing and helping and serving.

We've had a quieter house this week with Jenna serving a 'mini-mission' in 
Wiesbaden and Alex on a cruise with our friends the Adams.'  It's the cruise to 

the Baltics we were all going on until our summer schedule came crashing down, 

unfortunately.   We think he's in Stockholm right now....  So, Kade is at home 

'taking care' of his Mom and doing a great job (most of the time....).

Since each successive visit for chemo is supposed to get worse, we had hoped to 
sneak away today on what will probably be our last trip.  But, Wendi was running 
a bit of a fever last night and was feeling pretty lousy, so we are delaying a 
day or so and we'll see what happens.  That will likely define our next few 
months - take it one day at a time.

Mark K.

Pregnancy??

Once we got home yesterday, Wendi wasn't feeling too bad.  She made a few phone calls and we had a fairly normal evening.  Then, she got pregnant --  or at least she felt pregnant....

Wendi's perennial April Fool's joke for many years was "I'm pregnant!"  Well, this year on April 1st, she was diagnosed with breast cancer.  We didn't feel like joking much after that.

So, later in the evening she started feeling queasy, bloated and nauseous.  She felt like vomiting, but never got to that point.  She didn't really feel like eating anything and nothing sounded good anyway.  We both are having flashbacks to pregnancy days!  She climbed up into bed and was unsure of what the night would bring.  She managed to get some sleep, though, and felt a little better this morning.  That's just like the pregnancy days as well - felt "OK" in the morning and slowly got worse as the day wore on.

She's done OK today.  Moving slowly and spent some time reading.  I have to give her a shot this evening.  We're hoping it will get better over the course of the next few days.

This first round is every two weeks for eight weeks, so next visit is 2 July.

Marküs

Chemo 101

Professor Doctor Link called Wendi just after 0800 this morning.  He said that the CT scan looked clean!  It has some spots that could be blood vessels or small growths of some kind, but supposedly, we all have those types of things.  They were just being justifiably cautious because of Wendi's diagnosis.  We will have another CT in about 3 months for comparison.  Dr. Link planned to contact the Landstuhl oncology department and get the results to them as well.

Wendi called oncology and they said to 'come on down.'  So we are here now learning more about the process and Wendi is about to be administered the first round of 'AC' (the chemo cocktail...).

Everyone here has been very nice and supportive, including my office.  They have been very understanding and have allowed me a LOT of leeway to handle whatever I need to do for Wendi.  It is very much appreciated.

Here she is.  Thanks everyone.

Another Delay?

Yesterday, Wendi went to the "Westpfalz Klinikum" (the German hospital in Kaiserslautern) and did her additional CT scan.  A few weeks ago in the American hospital, she was given the fancy 'contrast/dye' ahead of time.  She drank it at home, then went to the hospital, they scanned her for about 20 minutes total, then she was done.  At the Westpfalz Klinikum, she arrived in the morning and drank the magic potion there, and then waited the requisite 2 hours or so before the scan could begin.  She 'fessed up to getting a rash on her leg after the previous CT scan, which was a mistake, just so you know if you're ever in a hurry.  This caused a bit of a stir and she had to take some kind of additional medication which would prevent her from driving.  Since the last CT scan had been so quick, I didn't go this time.  So, she called me and I went down there to give her a ride home.

It really turned into an all-day adventure at the hospital.  It did seem like there were a lot people in there just waiting around in the hallways.  The CT area was kinda backed up with a few gurney's lined up outside with older patients hanging around waiting for something.  We felt bad for all those folks!  It allows us to appreciate the American hospital and the care we've received there.  We really have run into some wonderful people at Landstuhl and they have done a great job busting all those stereotypes of 'military medicine.'

The plan was to meet with Professor Doctor Link this afternoon and hear the results of the CT scan and he would triumphantly declare that we should continue on schedule and start chemo tomorrow, Wednesday.  Well, we arrived at 1330 and the receptionist seemed surprised to see us.  We reminded her that Dr. Lind did want to see us and we were hoping to get the CT results.  After a bit of shuffling, we learned that the CT results are not ready yet.  Dang it!  They said maybe later today, but asked if we could come in tomorrow morning.  The answer from us was "no, we won't come back tomorrow.  We are going to Landstuhl to start chemo."  They claimed that they would get the results in the morning and call us with a telephone report.  Also, they could fax the results to Landstuhl.  We left disappointed and called right away to Landstuhl oncology.  They really want to wait until the results are back before starting chemo.  It's frustrating, but looks like we'll be waiting again....

We might get everything back in the morning, then head down to Landstuhl and get started, but we're skeptical.  They do have a slot for us on Thursday if we get the go-ahead, but not in time to start tomorrow.  Again, I need to say that we're not that excited to start poison treatments, but we feel like we need to start something.  This all assumes the results are 'normal,' or at least not significantly different from the previous scan.  If an issue pops up, it could all change again.

Waiting around is really frustrating.

But, we're keeping busy.  I'm the new YM 2nd Counselor and we had a productive scout activity tonight helping Alex with his Eagle Project.  We went to the base laundromat and washed all the clothes that we've picked up from the local school lost and founds.  They were actually quite helpful.

I'll try to provide an update tomorrow as well on whatever happens with the scan....

Mark K.

Progress--

We met with the German oncologist again today, Professor Doctor Link (yes, I wrote that correctly).  He was very nice.  He met with the other specialists in the hospital yesterday for their 'cancer board' to discuss all the new and existing patients and recommend treatments and adjustments to treatments.  He told us that, based on the CT from Landstuhl and the other documents that we provided, there is no metastasis!  He thinks the 'abnormalities' on the CT are too small to biopsy.  He recommends that we do a scintigraphy (some kind of detailed bone scan) and that we repeat the CT, but in the German hospital.  That way, we can confirm the scan from Landstuhl and update it with the German scan with their better resolution capability.

So, Wendi will do the scintigraphy tomorrow.  The CT is scheduled for Monday.  We were concerned about getting all the results back and staying on course with our chemo schedule for next Wednesday.  He understood our sense of urgency and set up an appointment with him on Tuesday so we can discuss the results of the CT the day before.  Not bad for a Germany hospital!  He said if the results aren't officially ready, he will get the verbal from the radiology and thus keep us on track for Wednesday.

We want to get going on that chemo - kinda...   Wendi met with the women from the local breast cancer support group last night and they were honest in giving her the low-down on chemo.  We want to hear the straight story, but it was hard for Wendi to listen to their tales of wo.  It's not pretty.  Maybe we'll share some of them later.  She came back a little shell-shocked.  It took a couple of hours for her to open up and share what she had heard.  Chemo is no picnic and she is in for a very rough ride.  This will be huge burden on her and the family.  So, yay, we get to do chemo next week....

We called the Landstuhl peeps and they are OK with us staying on track for Wednesday.  Of course, something could come up.  If the CT shows something unusual, or worse/larger than previously thought, we may delay for a biopsy or something.  Hoping we're OK though.

Thanks to everyone for your love and support.

Mark K.

German Oncology

We met with the German oncologist in Kaiserslautern yesterday.  It was a bit odd going to a German hospital, but he was a good guy and the receptionist was great too.

We waited for almost 2 hours before getting in, but it wasn’t because of German socialized medicine.  We brought a CD of the CT scan and they were having trouble reading it in their computer.  Also, they wanted us to bring all of our records and pathology and such, but we didn’t get that word.  He met with us anyway and we told him the story.

He wants to get another CT scan, which we’re actually OK with.  The Landstuhl hospital can only scan at 5mm slice resolution, where the German system does 1mm slices.  It should get us a more accurate view of the areas that are in question.  He also wants to do some kind of spinal scan and another ultrasound.

Also, as we asked questions and discussed options, we were glad to hear that pretty much everything that Landstuhl had told us about treatments and protocols matched what the German oncology would do.  It seems that traditional medicine’s view of cancer and various treatments is quite standardized around the US and the western world.  We bounce most things off the American Cancer Society website and it all matches up.  I will say, though, that if we end up being stage 4, we will be looking hard at other, non-traditional options….

We’re tired of delays and we don’t want to rely on anyone to get Wendi’s records over to the German hospital, so we drove over to Landstuhl and picked up copies of everything in person, then drove back to Kaiserslautern and delivered the documents in-person to Dr. Link’s office.  He is meeting with all the other specialists on Tuesday, so we wanted him to have everything.  We will meet with him again on Wednesday.

I have to say I thought about the significance of this particular date in history.  I'm so proud to be a member of our nation's military as we commemorate the 70th anniversary of the D-Day landings at Normandy and those great men who sacrificed so much for me, my family and our country.  I reflected on that as I walked through the streets of Germany on my way to visit a German doctor to help treat my wife for cancer, 70 years after my military forebears invaded their turf.  Interesting.

All of this made us a bit tardy getting to Jenna’s high school graduation!  We had perfect weather for the ceremony in FCK stadion, a German professional soccer stadium.  She did GREAT and we are very proud of her!

More wait-n-see

We arrived at Landstuhl this morning for the first day of chemo, but it was not meant to be.  Our oncologist called yesterday and told us that she wanted to meet with us at 0830 before our chemo session.  It turned out to be a counseling session to out-brief the results of the CT scan last Thursday.

Apparently, there are some small 'areas of concern' that need to be addressed.  The CT narrative described some suspicious areas in the spine, the liver and the lungs.  There was also a very suspicious spot under the clavicle on the left side.  That didn't really surprise anyone, since the surgery back in April found 19 cancerous lymph nodes in that same general area.  As expected, there are a few more in there, but they are quite deep and difficult to get to.  When they are seen in the same region as the original mass, it doesn't change the diagnosis and the treatment plan would continue as prescribed.

However, the nodules, or radiographic shadows, or whatever they are, in those other areas could very much change the treatment plan.  The oncologist was hesitant to make that call - she's not a radiologist - so she wants to postpone chemotherapy until we see a invasive radiologist specialist on Friday at the German hospital in Kaiserslautern.  So, more waiting, more 'pins-and-needles' (literally) and more uncertainty.

The German doctors may say that the areas are too small to biopsy and then we just return back to Landstuhl and begin chemo next week.  If they decide to biopsy one or more of them, we will do that next week and wait again for the pathology on them.  We'll see what they say on Friday.

The possibility of metastasis into these other areas was big blow today!  We're so thankful for our friend in the ward who works in radiology.  After leaving oncology, we went to see him and he gave us MUCH useful information and a step-by-step explanation of what it all looks like from the radiologist point of view.  We were in his office and he showed us the CT scan and the areas that his colleague had tagged as potential cancer sites.  He was able to explain the situation and we felt a little better when we left his office.

So, we are still nervous and unsure of what to expect.  As much as we did NOT want to do chemo, here we are waiting another week and maybe letting all that bad juju in there keep growing and spreading.

Hard day.  Sad day.  We can't help but think worst case and contemplate bad outcomes, all the while trying to be positive and see the best in the situation.  We appreciate our Bishop stopping by and assisting with a blessing.  We are grateful and strengthened by our family, good friends and Gospel of Jesus Christ.

Mark K.

Sad Philippines Cancer story….

Sister Kirchhoefer sent us this letter from the Philippines a couple of weeks ago.  As hard as we have it with this new trial, we are still so blessed!  Kayli is doing well and we are proud of her selfless service and the growth she is experiencing.



Its not uncommon for people here to come up to missionaries, especially the americans, and beg for money. we are instructed to not give money-it makes sense right? if people here found out we give money then we would be swarmed on the streets and people would only listen to our message in hopes that we would give them money. As much as it breaks my heart, we just say "patawad" (forgive) and keep moving. Earlier this mom came up to me with her shy kid at her heels. she takes off her hat so i can see her balding head. i can see the skin right above her shirt-rough, bumpy scars. She puts out her hand and asks me for money to help her pay for chemotherapy for breast cancer. talk about pulling on the heart strings-i was honestly stunned. no words came to my mouth. i looked at her and uttered a soft and pathetic "patawad" as she walked away quickly before i could bring myself together, she looked so disappointed. I cant imagine what she is feeling right now. I personally feel sick inside for my pathetic answer and that i didn't do anything to help her...

To be honest, there is a part of me that feels so beyond guilty that i am here so far away from whats happening with mom. I am so busy most of the time that i don't have time to worry or think too much about whats happening. i am trying to do my best here but i constantly feel like i am falling short. it hasn't hit me with whats happening because i cant see it-i am not there. i just cant stop thinking about this poor woman who i saw earlier-i cant imagine how hopeless she must feel. I just want you to know that even though i am not close to you. you guys are in my thoughts and prayers always (even if it is in the back of my head). even though the full extent of what is happening has not hit me yet...i am just trying to do my best here, and i love you so much. I am grateful that treatments are available to mom. i am grateful for the support system that we have because of so many amazing friends and family, and i am grateful for the hope that we can still feel from the gospel of Jesus Christ. I have had some of the hardest and trying moments of my life here. but i have also had the spirit speak to my heart and i have experienced my most joyful, happy, and contented moments of my life here. One thing that i have learned about "doing hard things" or trials-is that its hard (obviously), but its worth it. There is a God who knows us better than we know ourselves, and he will direct our lives for our own benefit. He knows what we need. We become strong through the battles and the faith that we gain through them. now i realize that is a lot easier said than done. i am doing it right now and constantly falling short and feel like a child just tripping and learning. But the most important part is that we get up and move forward. i read this quote this week:

"The greatest gift we can give those on both sides of the veil is to move forward with our heads held up in faith and hope in Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ, even if each step is taken with tears streaming down our faces."

The most important part is moving forward! And we don't lose our faith. I love you more than words can express. When i said bye to you all almost one year ago, i never thought things would be this hard. If i knew, then i would not have come haha (joke?) but, Heavenly Father loves us, so he is helping us all grow. 

I received news this morning that i am being transferred. I thought i would be here longer, but i guess not. words cannot express my feelings about this branch, or the people we are teaching, or my current companion. so i wont even try, just know that i will miss it here SO much. I have been here since December. I will let you know what happens next week! Have a good week :)

Kayli

p.s. We reached 39C this week.i think thats around 102F? We had a service project earlier (i attached a picture) and i got so burned haha. we cleaned a elementary school before classes start next week.

p.s.s. this week we went to one of our recent converts house right when they were starting to cook their dinner. we watched as he chased two ducks, cut their necks, plucked, and then fried/cut, and then we left right before they offered it to us haha. i just have never witnessed the whole process before, kind of interesting. kind of nasty at the same time. I love being a missionary in the philippines :) 

Arriving into Port

This morning, Wendi had surgery to insert a ‘chemo port’ to facilitate the whole chemotherapy process.  It sits just underneath her right collarbone under the skin.  When chemo time comes, they poke a needle through the skin directly into the port, which is connected directly to a major vein to ensure there is no delay in getting that poison right into the bloodstream.

It is an outpatient surgery, so we were there a total of about four hours, then I took a groggy, sore Wendi back home.  And the saga continues:  we drive to Landstuhl, Wendi is poked and prodded and does things she’d rather not do, then we drive home and recover until the next trip to LRMC.

However, it's good to know that everything was taken care of on the home front while we were at the hospital.  Kade had a cold, so we let him stay home to take care of recovering Alex.  For lunch he gave him Twizzlers and jelly beans (with the soup laid out on the counter) and when a friend came to check up on them, they were playing basketball.  We're in good hands.

As significant as a surgery is, that is not the big news.  We met with the oncologist yesterday for the first time.  Dr. Steele has been at LRMC for almost two years, yet leaves this summer in August.  She spent a solid hour and a half explaining what the next several months will look like.

There are basically two chemical regimens that Wendi will do.  The first it 8 weeks long with visits every two weeks, so four visits total.  This is the more difficult of the two regimens, the one that will wreak havoc on Wendi, sickness, nausea, hair loss, etc.  The Doc says things have gotten better and fewer people have the intense nausea as before, but the hair loss will definitely happen.  

The second drug will start two weeks after the first and run for 12 weeks with a weekly visit.  This chemical is a weaker drug that is reportedly easier for the body to handle – much less sickness and often the hair starts to grow back.  We also stopped into the the chemo administration room and saw about six people in their chairs all hooked up and watching TV.  Kinda depressing.

We will be doing radiation after that as well.  We’re not too sure of how that goes, but we have some time to think about it!  Radiation is not done at Landstuhl, so we will be going to a German hospital in Homburg, which is about 40 minutes away.  The Doc said to expect about 6 weeks of daily treatments, but we’ll learn more as that gets closer.

After hearing all of that, Wendi was a little overwhelmed, as you might imagine.  It made everything more real as it all gets closer.  First chemo visit – 4 June.

It’s such a small thing, really, losing one’s hair, but it is definitely a powerful, psychological side effect and the well-recognized, visible sign to everyone that you have cancer.  Much can be hidden, but not this one.  And Wendi has rock star hair, too!

I also can’t help but think of the ‘bloodletting’ days back in the medieval times.  The medical wisdom of the time thought that there was sickness in the blood and the best way to get rid of the sickness was to let the patient bleed out all that sickness just short of the point of death.  Yes, get rid of all that disease!  I picture the doctor approaching the patient with an explanation of the procedure and the patient saying, “yea, that sounds like a good idea, let’s do it.”

But now modern medicine has progressed so far that they tell us, “we’re going to get rid of all those bad cells by injecting poisonous chemicals into your body just short of death.  Oh, and you’ll probably have some lifetime side effects too.”  And we say, “OK, sign us up, let’s do it….” 

I admit, we do feel a little trapped, but then again, this has saved many, many good people, so here we go—

Mark K.

Ode to Momma K.

Shout out to all you amazing moms out there!  I hope that you are feeling loved, appreciated, and blessed for your efforts on this special Mother's Day.  I am amazed every day by the incredible women I have come in contact with in my life, and I hope you all know the enormous impact you have on the world around you.  However, today there is one mother in particular I would like to take a moment to recognize.
I'll admit, Mother's Day this year has hit a little closer to home than usual with my mom being sick.  Our family's experience with breast cancer has definitely made me realize more and more how special my mom is.
My mom is, without question, my best friend on earth. The funny thing is that she and I are total opposites in so many ways.  She's an undeniable people person and will talk to anyone about anything under the sun; on the other hand, I'm usually not the first to begin a conversation. But I never doubt that to my mom, I can say anything. She's the best listener! Just the other night we stayed up until almost three in the morning just talking. She's always there for me, but the amazing thing is that she's always there for everyone! She can always make the people around her feel comfortable and she is so gifted at welcoming others into her life.
Because my mom and I are so different, she has been able to teach me how to look at life with a whole different perspective. Mom is service-oriented and always looks for ways to fulfill her church callings, and always looks out for the underdog. Through her example I'm learning to be a better version of myself. I hope someday I can say I'm more like her.
Truly, my mom is amazing! I don't say it enough and my words will never do her justice. Happy Mother's Day Mom! Never forget how amazing you are! So many people are cheering for you :)
With Love,
Jenna Kirchhoefer                                                                        

Not a Hospital Record you want to hold….

We met with our general surgeon yesterday to schedule a time for another surgery.  Oh boy.  Wendi gets a chemo port just below her right shoulder.  It sits under the skin and connects to a vein with direct access to her heart (she has a great heart, by the way!).  The idea is to let her continue to heal from the first surgery, but get the port in with enough time to heal by chemo day.  Surgery scheduled for next Friday, the 16th.

While there the good doctor told us Wendi holds a personal record and what could very well be a hospital record too - his removal of 39 lymph nodes was a personal best!  What a feeling!….


We also called Oncology and have our first appointment there next Thursday, the 15th.  This will be a very informative appointment to meet the Oncologist and get a better idea of what the next few months will look like.  We'll find out the regimen that they have paired up to Wendi's specific cancer.  The general surgeon gave us a sneak peak:  we'll probably start chemo in 4 weeks, it might go through August or so, then do radiation after that.  We'll know much more next week and will pass it on.

Mark K.

More hospital visits--

So, I know the best route to the hospital from our house and from  the base.  I know how to route around the construction on A62.  By now I know all the good parking spots at the Landstuhl Regional Medical Center, which lot is closest to the OR, the surgery office and oncology.

Now you can add the 'Ear, Nose and Throat' office to my hospital knowledge base.  Alex had his tonsils out on Thursday and is doing a lot of laying around, watching movies and talking very softly!  He hasn't bounced the basketball now for 48 hours, which is also a nice side benefit.

I know this is not cancer-related, but it is hospital-related and comes with a great pic--

Power in Pink

This is a bit dated info, but back when Wendi had her surgery, some of the youth in the area showed their solidarity by wearing pink that day.  Pink dresses, ties, shirts, even a bow tie!

Many were even fasting that day - it meant a lot to us!

Thanks everybody!

Setback

It has been 1 week since the surgery.  Wendi has had a slow week of much sitting, laying and resting.  She's not used to doing that....  I was here all week to get everyone off to school and then keep the train rolling along in the afternoons and evenings.  She is still taking some of the pain meds, but is slowly feeling better.

She left the house for the first time today since last week.  We had appointments with both doctors today for a post-op visit and were hoping to get Wendi's drains removed.

The Plastic Surgeon was first.  The surgery went well and the incisions are healing nicely.  Turns out, only one of the drains has slowed enough to be taken out, so we will still be dealing with that for a few days.  He wants to meet with us weekly for about the next 2 months.

The General Surgeon had heard back from Pathology and the full results are in.  Unfortunately, he didn't have good news for us.  He removed 39 lymph nodes and 19 of them were positive for cancer.  That's a high number and bumps the diagnosis up to Stage 3c cancer.  We were really hoping to not have to endure radiation, but that is a recommended part of the treatment for this stage.  He has a referral in to the Oncology department, so we should meet with them in the next 2 weeks.

No other treatments will occur until she is healed from the surgery, so we have 3 or 4 weeks until we start the next steps in the process.

Our ward family, our neighbors, and my work have been great in their support.  Thanks again for your prayers and your concern.

Mark K.

A is for Anxiety

We have been reading up on things a bit, as you can imagine.  We found a book called A Breast Cancer Alphabet that has a section on 'Anxiety' that hits home.  Here are a few excerpts:


Anxiety grips you as you await the pathology results in the days after they remove the tumor.  When you know you have to have chemotherapy, you try to anticipate what your body will feel like after it has been pumped full of poisons to cure you.  Because there is nothing to prepare you for all of this, your anxiety meter will be off the charts.
Anxiety is like your cancer companion; it is attached to you now, sometimes in the background, sometimes front and center, but always there.  Anxiety stalks you as you sit through countless doctor visits, hours and hours of tests, and days and days of waiting.  It sinks its tentacles in you and makes itself at home through bad news and even when you get some good news.  It lurks like an unwelcome visitor who never leaves, because it never does.  It is in your mind, yes, but it also manifests itself physically - nausea, light-headedness, stomach upset, racing heartbeat.
Your challenge is to manage it.  I'm pretty good at time management, but this is a different beast.  Anxiety is not neat or measurable.  It is amorphous and stubborn and oh so resilient.  It cannot be compartmentalized or shoved aside or thrown out or vanquished.   It actually must be managed, and you have to figure out the best anxiety management techniques for you (drugs, meditation, therapy, yoga, work, play, ice cream, movies).  Coping with anxiety is the part of your cancer treatment that may get short shrift from the medical professionals.  They are dealing with a big thing - your cancer - and thank goodness for that.  But anxiety is real and important, and you have to let people know that so you can get all the help you need to manage it.
The good news is that reality is never as dark as the places your mind can take you, and unfortunately anxiety takes you to the darkest places imaginable.  Maybe living with it becomes a learned skill and the anxiety subsides; in the meantime, managing it seems to be the only option.



And I'm sure once we kick this thing, we will always have anxiety about when/if it will come back....

Sock it to 'em

Is the teenage shoe and sock thing new, or is it just my boys?  They are SO IN to basketball shoes and colors and styles – I think it’s weird.  When we go to the BX they will spend the entire time in the shoe section.  When we’re off base in town somewhere, their radar is always tuned to the shoe and sports stores (I get the sports store part).  And the Nike Elite socks are the rage, apparently.  But it is hard to say ‘no’ to the Nike Elite pink breast cancer socks, although they seemed a little too excited to wear them…..